If I’m Knott-Craig, who am I?

22 January 2012

My name is Alan Knott-Craig. So is my dad’s. This has been a source of confusion for many people… we both work in the telecoms sector, he’s famous, and, of course, a surname like Knott-Craig has enormous potential for amusement.

“If you’re not Craig, who are you?” is a joke that seemingly never wears thin…

As I’ve grown older I’ve found I can close my eyes and guess who is speaking to me simply by what they call me.

“Big Al”                                   –           School era friends

“Ali”                                         –           Brothers

“Alan Thomas”                     –           Parents, uncles, aunts & grandparents

“Bundi”                                   –           Deloitte colleagues

“Al”                                         –           Current mates

“Junior”                                  –           Old people in telecoms

“Sir”                                        –           Up-and-coming guys in telecoms

“Pollyanna”                           –           Ivo Vegter

“Alan Knott-Craig Jnr”         –           Older journalists

“Alan Knott-Craig”                –           Newly minted journalists

Technically I’m not Jnr. My dad is Jnr because his dad (my oupa) was the first Alan. Which I guess makes me Jnr squared. Or Alan the 3rd. But my oupa passed away recently, so there is no need to differentiate to the third degree anymore, and anyway I can’t think of anything worse than adopting the habits of European monarchies, which include beheadings.

Since my dad retired the use of his name in the media has become less common, resulting in less use of “Jnr” on the odd occasion that I crack the nod for a mention.

But. As of Thursday, he’s back in the limelight! You can almost feel the angst in editorial rooms… The younger writers call my dad, “Senior”, whilst leaving me with the plain appellation of, “Alan Knott-Craig,” whilst older writers refer to me as “Junior” whilst leaving the vanilla “Alan Knott-Craig” to my dad.

I guess I don’t really mind. I’ve always been more of a rum & raisin fan over vanilla. At least I know I can close my eyes and guess the age of the speaker.


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